Are you laid off and trying to find a silver lining? Has business dwindled and you are wondering what is next? I might have a solution. I reached out to my little sis, who wrote a book called The Thank You project. She knows first hand how hard we work – and play ( I might have snuck her into an IPW event years ago…just sayin’). She offered to write this article to remind you that you have made a difference in people’s lives, and that by writing a thank you note today, you can start making a difference in yours.
At a moment in time when travel is the worst possible thing for us to do, I am endlessly grateful to capital-T Travel.
It first occurred to me to consider Travel as a reason to be thankful a few years back, when I was in the midst of what I would come to call my Thank-You Project. I had decided to mark my 50th birthday year by writing a weekly letter to someone who had helped, shaped, or inspired me to that point in my life. I had no idea that by writing those letters, I would be creating more joy in my life, building my resilience, and strengthening connections to those around me. Nor did I know that research studies have proven, over and over, the interconnection between a deliberate practice of gratitude and higher levels of personal happiness.
I just knew that each time I signed, “Love, Nan” at the bottom of a letter, I felt less anxious, more optimistic, reassured. My immediate thought was often, “Ok, who do I get to write to next!?”
Somewhere around letter 30, I realized that all those good feelings came in writing the letter, not necessarily in the recipients’ reactions (though those felt pretty wonderful too!) That meant I could write, but not send, letters to former friends who had taught me important skills (like how not to get walked on in a relationship), to 19th century authors whose books I treasure, to exes who had been important stepping stones on the road to meeting my husband of 28 years.
Heck, I could even write to places.
When I figured that out, somewhere around letter 40, it made perfect sense. Of course, we are helped, shaped, and inspired by the places through which we’ve passed: our hometowns, where we went to college or trade school, our favorite vacation spot.
I grew up in Upstate New York; I’ve lived 22 years in Oakland. If you don’t know that about me yet, it’s only because we haven’t talked for more than three minutes. That information ALWAYS bubbles to the top, whether due to my latent Upstate New York accent or my Warriors wardrobe or my “Raised in New York, Living in California” t-shirt that intertwines the official symbols of the Golden and Empire State. I’m full of gratitude to both those places for shaping my outlook.
Family Camp
The (unsent) letter I sent to the Adirondack family camp I’ve attended for more than 50 years was one of my favorites to write. It said, in part:
Family Camp, it’s going to be hard to express how central you have been to my life—as a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a wife, and a mom. Mom and Dad started taking the Davis Five there in 1968, when I was two, and I don’t remember a thing about that trip. But from the moment my folks decided to overlook the legendary Flying Squirrel Incident and take us back for a second year, Gorham became our family’s special sauce.
I truly believe this. Once a year, we all do our damndest to get back there—as do most of our kids. It is, of course, a place of great physical beauty and a week in which we get to push ourselves physically, up mountains and in lakes and atop horses. But more than that, it’s a place where we all still play together, even as grownups.
We may scatter to the four winds during the year, but it’s vastly reassuring to know that during the last week of August, most of my nearest and dearest will be driving down the Big Moose Road at 12:49 p.m., pushing the 1 p.m. arrival time as close as they dare.
Finding Reasons to be Grateful
Especially right now, it feels awfully difficult to find things for which to be grateful. We’re bombarded with scary news that affects us and the people we love. But I learned, in writing my letters and in researching the science behind them, that looking for good things and taking a moment to appreciate those makes it easier to be grateful the next time, and the time after that. It’s what scientists term “Positive recall bias.” You want some of that, I promise you. And you can create it yourself when you write a thank-you letter.
So even now – with two college kids unexpectedly finishing semesters at home, headlines and personal anecdotes around COVID-19 that elevate my anxiety – I try to take a moment when I can, to be grateful for Travel.
Trips taken, and trips still to come, someday, when things settle down. The amazing trip we took to Chile in February 2020, just before California went into Stay-At-Home mode. I even pulled a whole bunch of travel photo albums and put them on the coffee table, as a chaser to flip through after reading the morning news.
A Special Thank you to Tourism Professionals like you
And I’m taking a moment to be grateful for the travel professionals who read this blog and make it easier for travelers like me to learn about and connect with the attractions and locations that you’ve worked so hard to serve. Your knowledge and enthusiasm and professionalism help make the wide world a smaller place, in a way that reminds us of our shared humanity – a perspective that is so necessary right now. Stay well, stay positive, and I’ll hope to see you guys on my travels soon.
Nancy Davis Kho is a freelance writer whose work has appeared in the Washington Post, San Francisco Chronicle, The Rumpus, and The Toast. She’s been recognized as a Voice of the Year in the Humor Category by BlogHer and was the inaugural champion of Oakland’s Literary Death Match. She covers “the years between being hip and breaking one” at MidlifeMixtape.com and on the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, available on all major podcast platforms. Nancy’s book THE THANK-YOU PROJECT: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time was published by Running Press in December 2019. More at www.DavisKho.com.