I don’t know about you, but I have a competitive streak. I don’t necessarily feel the need to compete with others, but I definitely compete with myself on the little games/challenges/goals I set. Don’t call me crazy yet…just keep reading.
As a driven personality (I’ve been called worse), I have always been a bit competitive. I wanted to be first chair clarinet, and the minute I was second chair, I was running to the “challenge sign-up sheet”, determined to regain the top spot.
My best friend outside of band was Tina. She was also the person who alternated 1st and 2nd chair with me in band. So most days we were friends, but not on days of chair placement auditions or challenges. At that point it was about me trying to retain or regain first chair, regardless of the fact that it took me head to head with my BFF.
It was here that I learned it was okay to be “friendly” with competition (thanks band for the life lessons!). After all, I couldn’t control how Tina performed, but I could control what I brought to the stage.
My only competition is myself.
The only VICTORY I need to declare was one I design for myself. What a great perspective! Set a goal, set up the benchmarks to help me achieve that goal, and then celebrate when I achieved the goal. This will come as no surprise to any of you, but this was when I realized the answer to MY successful life was just that simple. It was my life, my goals, my game to play. Nobody was my enemy on competition day, and nobody else’s success would affect me and my goals.
And then COVID-19 hit
I am going to bet there are many of you a bit like me. As a person who likes to set goals, feel a sense of accomplishment, and compete a bit with myself, I will admit that after working through the [student tour] refund process of this past spring, I felt a bit lost. I began to think, “What is my goal? How do I get there? Why do I have nothing DRIVING me right now?” And the dreaded, “What should I do now?”
COVID took so much out of our control, and left some of us searching for the answer to make us feel successful, peaceful, proud, and purposeful. We are problem solvers, planners, goal-setting type of people. We are driven! And then we were halted—and not much was in our control. It was a startling life change, at least for me.
Redefine your Victories
One day in June I was talking to a friend of mine. He played for the Husker football team back when they were good (yes, I said that, don’t tell Nebraska!), so he understands the competitive mentality. He suggested I learn to redefine my “win” for the day and the “victory” for the week. Then he gave examples: I got up and took time to exercise, OR I called a friend on the phone and check in on them instead of just meaning to do so, OR I started reading the books that have piled up the past few years that I always wanted to read.
When I started redefining my daily WIN, I started feeling like my old self. The goals looked different. The success wasn’t measured in an excel sheet, bar graph, or a calendar packed with meetings, but I still felt like I was finding my drive again. True that I’m not driving in high gear, but I’m comfortable downshifting for a while—all because I have redefined the victory.
If any of this resonates with you, try to redefine your “win” for the day. This perspective helped me. If you have ideas that have worked for you, I would love to hear them.
Thanks to Barb Mock for this guest post. Barb is the owner of Travel With Barb, a Student Tour Operator based in Nebraska. Barb recently won a Tenacity in Travel award from Groups Today magazine. You can read more about those awards here. Congratulations Barb!
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